zeldathemes
I'm the Time Lord
Personal blog. I'll post pretty much anything I want to.


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writeinblack:

matt-is-like:

ultrafacts:

For more posts like this, follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

The whole compiled list of useful links / life hacks. More is to come! Follow today!

Went through a few of these, and they actually worked. So, signal boost.


pizza codes…this changes everything

hockpock:

qualiachameleon:

rocketumbl:

Theo Jansen  Strandbeest

Side note: These don’t have motors. They’re completely momentum/wind-powered and literally just wander around beaches unsupervised like giant abstract monsters.

these are both amazing and COMPLETELY TERRIFYING

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

kingcheddarxvii:

moves so fresh you revive the dead comics

holdingmythoughtsinmyheart:

what a beautiful person

holdingmythoughtsinmyheart:

what a beautiful person

nico-diangelcakes:

nico-diangelcakes:

So i have this giant pencil right

image

I think we all know where this is going.

image

the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

ironychan:

penandpage:

39cliffsidedrive:

Actual 3-year-old Tony Stark, everyone. 

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THIS LAST NIGHT AND COULDN’T FIND IT.

lukehemmign:

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

what the actual fuck tumblr